Love and relationships are presented to us as this glamorous necessity at a young age. If not first through a healthy relationship between our parents, then subtly through Disney movies with the beautiful princess and handsome prince that live happily ever after. As a result, we grow up expecting the presence of such relationships in our lives with no clear instructions on how to attain them. The truth is, there are no real instructions. A lot of dating and relationships is just trial and error. You encounter different people to help you discover your likes and dislikes, what works for you and what doesn’t.
I was talking with a friend the other day that was really down on themselves about not being able to find someone to settle down with. They were tired of being lonely, getting rejected and disappointed and feeling undesired by the opposite sex. After listening to my friend, I further realized the importance of loving yourself first to building a healthy relationship with someone else.
Nobody knows YOU better than YOU and your relationship with yourself should take priority over your relationship with anyone else. If you don’t think and feel that you are absolutely amazing, then why should anyone else? You don’t really give them a reason to. You should know and feel more than anyone else what a wonderful person you are. If you don’t feel like the wonderful and amazing person that you are, then you need to work on that first and foremost before pursuing a relationship. Learning how to be alone and love yourself is necessary because you have to be able to be happy and love yourself when it’s just you. Otherwise, you depend on the other person for that validation and unfortunately, sometimes people take advantage of that. If you feel good about yourself, then it doesn’t matter who mistreats or rejects you. At the end of the day, you always know that they are the ones missing out and not you. It is so important to (wait for and) find someone that recognizes how great you are and values and appreciates your presence in their lives. When you are dealing with people, especially outside of your family (but even sometimes in your family), you never know how long they are going to be in your life. A lot of people are meant to be in your life for only a season. You have to be careful about whom you invest your time, energy and emotions in, however you can NEVER go wrong with investing in yourself.